


with my life

by marvelthismarvelthat



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Female Character, Coming Out, Family, Fluff, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 11:18:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8798842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelthismarvelthat/pseuds/marvelthismarvelthat
Summary: Based on the tumblr prompt: based off the tumblr prompt: "My headcanon is that both Fitz and Simmons are bi. Could you write something about either them discussing their sexuality during the time at the Academy, or one or both of them talking about it with someone else on the team (Daisy, Mack, ...)?"Or The one were Jemma realizes something about herself and goes to Daisy for advice.





	

**Author's Note:**

> as always this prompt just took a life of its own, and has become affectionately known as 'jemma simmons is bi. fight me on it.'

When Jemma had first started working with Coulson’s team, she’d felt like she was on the brink of falling down a precipice constantly. The sense of inadequacy and uselessness had constantly plagued her. Then SHIELD fell and Fitz had gotten hurt, and everything started changing. She’d had to evolve and grow in ways she’d never imagined. It had taken time and plenty of setbacks, but in time she found her footing. Her confidence grew and she didn’t let herself get easily spooked. She took pride in that.

Or at least she usually did.

Today, standing in front of Daisy, that had all changed.

“Daisy?”

Daisy hummed in response, not looking up from the files she was working on.

Jemma shifted uncomfortably, unsure of herself. “Do you have a minute?”

The nervousness in Jemma’s voice made Daisy’s head immediately snap up to look to look at her, only to have a flash of fear to grip her heart as she took in the almost devastated look on her friend’s face.

“For you? I’ve got all day. Come sit.” She said, shoving the papers off her lap before patting the free space next to her.

Jemma looked at her, almost as if analyzing Daisy’s mood, before slowly lowering herself to the couch.

Daisy’s worry only grew as Jemma remained silent. If she was nervous enough to not ramble, then whatever this was was a huge deal for her. “Sooooo… What’s up?”

“Have you ever…” Jemma shifted nervously in her seat and picked at her sweater. This was a terrible idea.

Daisy looked at her expectantly, a reassuring smile appearing on her face.

“I’m sorry, I- this is silly, I should go.” Jemma said, beginning to get up off the couch. Daisy had so many things to worry about, she didn’t need Jemma bothering her with something so unimportant.

Daisy grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her back down, making Jemma yelp as she hit the couch. “No. No take backsies. Tell me what’s bugging you. Maybe I can help.”

Jemma smiled fondly despite her nerves, reveling in the momentary reappearance of the Daisy she’d met all those years ago. “You promise you won’t say anything to anyone?”

Daisy nodded seriously, holding out her hand with her pinky finger extended. “I pinky swear. And you know those are unbreakable.”

Jemma rolled her eyes at Daisy’s childishness, but took hold of her pinky finger nonetheless. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Ok but for serious, what’s up?” Daisy said, letting go of Jemma’s finger and leaning back against the couch.

“I- um-“ Jemma scrunched her nose, trying will herself to push through it. “It has to do with Lincoln… And Miles… And maybe Ward… And, well- I don’t know if you’re dating him, but if you are, Robbie.”

Daisy arched an eyebrow. “So all my love interests?”

Jemma laughed nervously, one hand coming up to shakily brush away the hair from her face. “Your boyfriends and girlfriends in general.”

“Okayyyy…” Daisy frowned, her confusion evident. She didn’t have a clue where Jemma was going with this. “What about them?”

“Have you ever, um- Did you-“ Jemma sighed, covering her face with her hands. “Haveyouevertoldthemyou’rebisexual?”

Daisy stared, unsure if she’d heard correctly. “I’m sorry, have I ever what?”

Jemma groaned, dropping her hands and meeting Daisy’s eyes. “Have you ever told them you’re bisexual?”

Daisy froze briefly, taken aback by the question. “I, um, yes?”

“How did you do it? What did they think? How did it go? Did any of them ever make jokes? Were any of them disgusted by it?”

The questions came out in a rush, running together in a way that made it hard for Daisy to understand what Jemma was asking.

“I- you- what? Jemma, where is this coming from? What’s going on?”

“I’m…” Jemma blinked away the tears that were pricking at her eyes. “I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual.”

Understanding dawned on Daisy. No wonder Jemma was so nervous. She couldn’t believe Jemma had basically had to spell it out for her. “Oh Jemma…” Daisy scooted over to her, throwing her arms around her once she was close enough to do so. “Are you worried about what Fitz is going to think?”

Jemma let out a sob, turning slightly so she could bury her face in Daisy’s shoulder. “Yes. I don’t want him to hate me.”

Daisy just held on tighter. She couldn’t bear how heartbroken Jemma sounded. “Jem, he could never hate you. He won’t care.”

“You can’t know that.” Jemma said, her voice muffled by Daisy’s shoulder.

“I can. Because I know Fitz and I know how head-over-heels in love he is with you.” Daisy sighed into her hair. “And if he has a problem with it- which is like a 0.000001% possibility, by the way- then he doesn’t deserve you. He never did.”

Jemma sniffled against her shoulder. “Can you tell me how your past significant others reacted anyway?”

Daisy was silent for a moment, silently analyzing her options. If this was what Jemma needed to hear, then she'd tell her despite how much it would sting to revisit the past. “Well of the ones you’ve met- Miles thought it was hot, asked if we could have a threesome. That tends to be a common first reaction among guys, which I find kind of icky, but I brushed it off back then. I never told Ward. I mean, I kissed him once and then a few days later found out he was a Nazi so we didn’t get to that point. Lincoln already knew by the time I told him and-“

“Wait, he knew before you told him?!” Jemma gaped at her, her mind racing. That meant there was a possibility Fitz knew about her already.

“Oh yeah. My major crush on Alex Danvers from Supergirl? Apparently not as subtle as I’d hoped. He didn’t care though.” Tears stung at the back of Daisy’s eyes but she held them back. This conversation was about Jemma’s fears, not about her own grief. Jemma needed the reassurance that boyfriends could be supportive. “His response to me confirming what he already knew was to give me a bear hug, tell me that it didn’t change a thing, and then going out to buy me the Supergirl season 1 Blu-Ray.”

Jemma chuckled sadly, squeezing Daisy tightly. “He was sweet.”

“That he was.” Daisy nodded absently, momentarily submerged in the wave of grief that washed over her.

“What about Robbie?” Jemma pulled away, wiping at her eyes. “Have you told him?”

Daisy scoffed indignantly. “Well first off, he and I are _not_ dating.”

Jemma remained quiet, simply raising a disbelieving eyebrow.

“Jemma Simmons, do not give me that eyebrow!”

She raised her hands in mock defeat, giving Daisy a wobbly grin.

“But regardless, he does know. He doesn’t seem to care either though. A few weeks after the Eli debacle was sorted and he got back from hell, he opened the door to my van to find me half naked with a girl I picked up while drunk off my ass at a bar. He straight up shrieked and slammed the door shut.” Daisy giggled at the memory. “It was hilarious. Told me to learn to lock my damn doors. Hasn’t said much else about it and he hasn’t treated me differently. So.”

That got a chuckle out of Jemma before she sobered again. “So nobody that you’ve dated has reacted badly?”

“I didn’t say that. Just nobody you know.” She said sadly, looking away and shrugging one shoulder noncommittally. “There was a guy that got freaky possessive after he found out. Another one just disappeared on me. One of them roughed me up pretty bad. One girl just dropped me right then and there…”

Daisy took a deep breath before meeting Jemma’s eyes and smiling reassuringly. “Fitz isn’t any of them though. He’s one of the best people I know. And the people that reacted badly in my case weren’t exactly winning a ‘good person’ award. I was involved with a less than stellar crowd for a while after I ran away from foster care and wasn’t exactly picky about who I dated. I just wanted someone to be with, you know?”

“You really don’t think he’ll care?” Jemma was still unsure, the nagging fear clawing up her throat.

“Jemma, this is the same guy that realized I wasn’t all human and covered it up to protect me. Then hugged me and told me that there was nothing wrong with me, that I was just different. All immediately after I lost control exploded a bunch of lamps right in front of him.” She paused, reaching out and wiping a tear from Jemma’s cheek. “Trust me. He won’t care.”

Jemma bit her lip, looking as lost as Daisy had ever seen her. “Is it okay that I’m still scared?”

Daisy’s broke a little at that. She wished Jemma didn’t have to feel like this. “Of course it is! That’s normal. This is a big thing, even if it shouldn’t be. Just- do you trust him?”

Jemma nodded without a second’s hesitation. “With my life.”

“Then just remember that, even if you are scared.”

Jemma nodded thoughtfully, but remained quiet, worriedly picking at her cuticles.

Daisy cocked her head, trying in vain to catch Jemma’s eyes. “Can I ask… when did you realize you were bi?”

If it had been any other conversation, Daisy would’ve doubled over in laughter at the deep blush that immediately colored Jemma’s cheeks. This was going to be good.

“I’d rather not say.”

“Oh come on!” Daisy reached out and poked Jemma’s side. “I promise I won’t laugh! It can’t be that bad.”

“Um, when I met Bobbi? I guess…” Jemma’s words fell away, the embarrassment making her keep her eyes staring firmly at the ground.

“Oh. My. God. I _knew_ it! Don’t be embarrassed, Bobbi is like a freakin’ goddess!” Daisy’s wide smile suddenly turned into a frown as she contemplated Jemma’s words. “Wait… that was like two years ago! Oh no. Have you been keeping it secret this long?”

Jemma shrugged bashfully. “Not really. I kind of brushed it off back then, to be honest. I thought it was just her. And you had just found out about your dad, and Fitz and I were on the outs so I didn’t have anyone to talk it over with.  Then the other week we met Sharon Carter and… well, I realized it wasn’t a one-time thing.”

“Oh so your thing is women that could kill you with their pinky?” Daisy asked, smiling once again at the realization. Jemma being attracted to deadly women was probably the best news she’d heard in years.

Jemma gaped at her, blinking rapidly. “No- yes- maybe. I don’t know. But I- I mean, I don’t know if I’m actually bisexual. I’ve never been with a girl.”

Daisy rolled her eyes good naturedly. “Not having been with a girl doesn’t affect your sexuality, dude. You can be attracted to women even if you haven’t dated them, or you know, haven’t done the horizontal tango with them. If you’re bi, you’re bi. Period. Experience doesn’t matter.”

Noticing the suddenly contemplative look on Jemma’s face, she continued, “And for what it’s worth. Dating girls is awesome. My longest relationship was with a girl named Jo. She was pretty damn amazing. We met while in foster care. When I ran away we lost touch, but reconnected a few years later when we ended up staying at the same homeless shelter. We were together for two years.” Daisy sighed dreamily, smiling at the memory.

A smile played at the corners of Jemma’s lips. She’d never heard this story. Daisy wasn’t usually inclined to share much about her past relationships, especially if they’d been serious ones. “What happened?”

“She moved to Seattle to be a fancy doctor.” Daisy said, smiling at the thought. “Last I heard she was dating another fancy doctor.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Jemma frowned, she hadn’t been expecting that. She couldn’t picture the Daisy they found living in a van all those years ago being willing to date someone who was studying to be a doctor.

Daisy shook her head ardently. Jo was her past, this team was her present and her future. “Don’t be. I loved Jo. Hell, I still do in a way, probably always will. But if we’d still been dating when you guys found me, I would’ve never joined SHIELD, even with how much I wanted to find my parents. Which means I would’ve never known you. And I wouldn’t change you, any of you, for the world. Regardless of all the terrible, no good things that have happened.”

Tears swelled up in Jemma’s eyes and she leaned forward to hug Daisy again. She’d long ago lost hope that Daisy would ever feel like that about them, about their family. “That’s how I feel about you too.”

Daisy sniffled tearfully, breathing Jemma’s comforting scent. “I know it hasn’t seemed like it recently, but I really do love you guys. I was just… too messed up to see how much I was hurting all of you.” 

Jemma pulled back and held her at arm’s length, an almost angry expression coloring her features as she stared at Daisy. “Daisy! You weren’t ‘messed up’! You suffered a massive loss. Sure, I wish you’d let us help, but ultimately you needed to grieve however you needed to grieve.”

“Oh Jemma. I appreciate what you’re trying to do, I really do, but I literally locked myself in a room full of possessed prisoners, then got mad at May and Coulson when they saved me from certain death. I was, and am, a lot messed up.” Now it was Daisy’s turn to avoid Jemma’s eyes. She didn’t want to see the heartbreak she knew would be on Jemma’s face at her words. “Therapy with Dr. Charles is helping though.”

Next thing Daisy knew, Jemma had pulled her back into a hug, holding her tighter than before. “I love you so damn much, Daisy Johnson.”

“I love you too, Jemma Simmons.” Daisy held her tightly for a second before kissing her cheek and pulling back, wiping away the few tears that had escaped her eyes. “Alright, alright. Enough about me. You think you’ll tell Fitz soon?”

“Probably now before I lose my nerve.” Jemma paused, frowning. “Do you think he’ll be upset about me finding Agents Carter and Bobbi attractive even though he and I are dating?”

Daisy snorted a laugh. “If he is, he’ll get over it. Being in a relationship might make you a lovesick fool, but it doesn’t make you blind.”

“I guess that’s true…” Jemma said, wringing her hands and getting up off the couch. “Alright, I guess I’ll go and see if he has time to talk.” She turned to Daisy with a smile. “Thank you for your help, Daisy.”

“Always.” Daisy said earnestly, watching as Jemma made her way to the door. She suddenly grinned. Emotional conversation or not, she so wasn't going to pass up this opportunity. “Oh and Jemma?”

 Jemma paused by the doorway, regarding her with a questioning look. “Yeah?”

“If you ever want to experiment and expand your horizons…” Daisy let her words hang in the air, extending her arms over the back of the couch and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Jemma looked at her disbelievingly, before bursting into a laughter. “Oh my God! Daisy! No!”

Daisy just kept smiling, a mischievous sparkle twinkling her eye. It wasn’t a look Jemma had seen on Daisy in more than a year, but she still knew what it meant; Daisy had every intention of continuing with her terrible flirting. 

Jemma took a breath to compose herself, smiling as she did so. “Okay, I’m leaving now. So you don’t get any more ideas.”

“Well the offer still stands!” Daisy called after her, feeling incredibly satisfied with herself as she watched her friend disappear through the door.

She’d missed talking to Jemma. Talking to the whole team, really. Maybe once she was done with her mountain of paperwork, she’d cook them dinner so she’d have an excuse to have them all in the same room for one night.

“Hey Tremors.”

Daisy jumped in surprise, nearly dropping the files she’d just begun gathering to continue her work. She’d been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn’t even heard Mack and Elena come in.  “Oh, hi.”

Elena chuckled at her reaction, opening the fridge to get them both some beers. “Perdón. We didn’t mean to spook you.”

Daisy waved a hand dismissively, smiling at the two. “Meh, it’s fine. I should know better than to get distracted while in a base full of super spies.”

Mack smiled gently, his eyes scanning Daisy’s face. “Everything okay in here? We just saw Jemma in the hall, she was off in her own world and she looked like she’d been crying. You kind of look teary too.”

“Oh. That. Yeah, she’ll be okay. She just needed some advice and it turned into a crying extravaganza…” Daisy drifted off pensively, her mind going back to what Jemma had said earlier about Robbie. “Hey, so uh- Does everyone on base think I’m dating Robbie?”

Elena turned to her, her eyebrows raised in surprise. “Bueno, aren’t you?”

Daisy blushed, flailing her hands indignantly. “No! Why does everyone think that?!”

“Tremors. I got news for you…” Mack chuckled as he grabbed the beer Elena was offering, moving to sit next to Daisy on the couch. “You really need to work on your lying skills.”

“Ugh! I’m not lying!”

**Author's Note:**

> i've been sitting on this fic for like four days because i've been super nervous about posting it, as it's slightly based on my own experience. so try to be kind.
> 
> also, i want to add. jemma's nervousness about telling fitz has nothing to do with her not trusting him or doubting his love for her. coming out to the people you most love and trust is often the hardest part about the whole experience. as daisy tells her, it shouldn't be that way. but unfortunately it's a side effect of the culture we live in.
> 
> if you have a minute, stop by the comments and tell me what you thought!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Both Monkeys and Dogs](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9241052) by [stjarna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjarna/pseuds/stjarna)




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